Conditioning a Submissive


The human brain is a remarkable organ; creative, good at pattern matching and association, and capable of learning. This affords all manner of ways to have some kinky fun. Furthermore, it helps in easily conditioning a submissive.

One idea that works particularly well is to train your partner to want something which he or she normally wouldn’t want, and to anticipate and even ask for things that test limits.

Conditioning – Part 1

Pick something that’s within your partner’s hard limits, but that normally your partner would never voluntarily want or ask for. Something that you might otherwise use as a punishment is good; something your partner finds humiliating, for example, or otherwise challenging to endure.

Describe how you are going to do this thing to your partner. Take your time; let the apprehension build. Explain in loving detail what you’re going to do, and how it’s going to feel. When your partner is writhing and twisting in apprehension, explain that you’re not going to do it until they ask you to. And tell them to make it convincing.

Don’t give it to your partner right away. Order your partner to keep asking for it until you are absolutely convinced that they want it. Tell them to beg for it, and to describe how badly they want you to do it. Only after your partner is begging and pleading should you do to them whatever it is.

The interesting thing about doing this is that human responses work both ways; our emotional state influences our actions, but our actions also influence our emotional state. A person who finds himself or herself begging for something will really begin to want that thing, even if he or she would not ordinarily want it at all!

Conditioning – Part 2

Another fun and kinky way to play with the mind’s incredible flexibility is to use good old-fashioned classical conditioning in the bedroom.

Pick a word, or a name, and say it when your partner reaches orgasm. Keep saying it as your partner comes. Continue to do this every time you have sex; gradually use the word just the instant before your partner comes, then a little bit longer before orgasm, then a little bit longer…

With work and practice, it’s often possible to train your partner to orgasm whenever they hear that word. Like, in the mall, in the office, anywhere.

Conditioning – Part 3

Another take on classical conditioning is to find some kind of object–a piece of jewelry like a ring or bracelet works well–which the submissive partner will wear only when highly aroused.

First, arouse the submissive partner, by whatever technique you like. When he or she is extremely aroused, or close to orgasm, have him or her put on the jewelry. (You can, if you like, refuse to let the submissive partner orgasm, and keep him or her on the edge of orgasm for an extended period of time.) Remove the jewelry if the arousal starts to fade.

After a while, the jewelry itself will become associated with arousal. When this happens, it will be possible to become highly aroused simply by putting on the jewelry.

Conditioning – Part 4

The first part is to have the submissive wear a bell or chime on some part of his or her body during sex (for example, tied around the base of the cock or on a collar or ankle bracelet). When you do this over a period of time, the submissive will begin to associate that sound with sex.

Then, after you’ve done this for a while, have him or her wear it other places in public–for example, to work or while shopping. It does not need to be worn in the same place; wearing it around an ankle works well. The sound will constantly remind the submissive of sex, and will help to keep him or her in an aroused state.

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